Monday, December 8, 2014


Saturday I violated Leviticus 19:28...

So I got a tattoo...

I've been out of the JWs for seven years and I've wanted one for a while now, but I've been bound and determined not to get one until I absolutely know for sure what I wanted. Tattoos to me are a commemorative thing. Plus, I've always had this hope that I would somehow get mummified and scientists a thousand years from now will dig my body up and use my tattoos to figure out things about me. It probably won't happen as I don't live near any peat bogs nor am prone to falling into them, but a guy can dream, can't he?

This past weekend it finally hit me...I wanted a tree. Why a tree?

Being a Jehovah's Witness was a very isolating experience for me. Everybody outside our tiny group of faithful was "off-limits." No friendships, no relationships, no meaningful connection was allowed with "worldly" people. Now, having a non-JW friend wasn't something you'd get excommunicated for, but it was definitely a black mark on your reputation in the congregation.

I had very few real friends as a kid. At school, I had people I sat with during lunch. Every year, the cast rotated. Summer would come, we'd lose touch because I no longer had the excuse of being in a mandated educational institution to justify playing kickball with them, and we'd just drift apart. There were kids my age in the congregation, but almost all of them wanted to hunt and fish and play outside all the time, which was not appealing to me at all. So, yeah, loneliness and disconnection were the norm for me.

I remember the day I had decided/realized that I was not going to continue in the path set before me by my parents and peers at that time, and I felt--along with an overwhelming sense of relief that the world was not about to be destroyed by God's fiery meteors--connected to everyone else in the world for the first time. I was no longer barred from their lives. I no longer had to keep them at arms' length and make excuses to why I couldn't come over for their annual barbecue. For the first time in my life, standing in my one bedroom apartment at 26 years old, I felt like I belonged. I felt like I belonged to the rest of the world, along with everyone else. I was finally a branch on the great tree of humanity.

The tree was perfect. It symbolizes that major milestone of my life. So, I began to look at pictures of trees. I had a few picked out, and after some feedback from the artist, I chose the Tree of Gondor from Lord of the Rings. The large branches with decent separation ensured minimal blurring, and I am a fan of fantasy/sci-fi so it was perfect. The above picture is about 2 hours after completion.

Friday, December 5, 2014

The Tinder Women of West Michigan

So as a technically-married-but-separated man, I've discovered that it is generally acceptable to start dating as if you were single. This isn't universal everywhere you go, but where I live, people seem to be okay with it as long as you aren't shouting it through the rooftops.

So, gay men have this app called Grindr. Grindr is an app for having anonymous sex with other gay men around you, or, as the worldlies like to call it: "hooking up." How it works is that you make a profile with pictures of you and maybe some information. Then, other men who have the app can look at you and, if they find you attractive, send you a message. Some brief flirting may ensue and if both parties play their cards right, BOOM, hot gay sex ensues.

Not content to be denied something the gay community has, straight people now have a Grindr-like app called Tinder. The premise of Tinder is pretty much the same. You post a profile and look at the profiles of people around you. If you like them, you swipe right on your phone, and if not, you swipe left. If two people swipe right on each others' profiles, they are both notified and can now begin messaging each other. The rest is up to you.

The thing is, as straight people are generally not as sexually liberated as gay people (when everything you want to do sexually has been considered a kink for a large portion of history, you tend to be pretty open-minded), a lot of people (women, in my experience, since I don't see men's profiles) don't seem to understand what Tinder is, what it's for, etc. The big thing I've noticed is that women's profiles seem to funnel into relatively few categories and subcategories. Either the woman will know what Tinder is for or not, and from there, we see the subcategories form quite quickly.

I live in a highly religiously-conservative area, and I quite often find that women (again, I'm not saying this isn't also true for men, but I don't really know since I don't see mens' profiles) don't understand what Tinder is, what it's for, and honestly some of what I see is baffling.

The Jesus Freak

This woman has the love of Jesus Christ in her heart and if you don't, you better swipe left. I swipe right anyway.

The Single Mom

This one is a mother and proud of it. Which is fine. Except the problem is every picture is of her kids riding a bicycle, or playing soccer, or doing what kids are want to do. Lady, I don't want to fuck your kids. I may want to fuck you, but I can't tell because you're hiding behind your spawn. What are you even doing on here, man?

The Insecure Suburban Wife

You'd be surprised how many profiles have the phrase "My husband and kids are my life!" on it and every picture features blouses and polo shirts in front of the best backdrops Olan Mills has to offer. Yet you're on an app that helps people have anonymous sex. I get that some people may be getting some on the side, but if that's the case, why trumpet that fact through a metaphorical bullhorn?

The Waldo

Every picture is of a group of people, and you'll spend a good 10 minutes comparing pictures to determine that she is, indeed, the ugly one.

The Elephant Man

This profile doesn't actually have a picture of her on it, but instead memes, pictures of "inspirational sayings", and motivational posters. The profile clearly screams "DON'T LOOK AT ME!!!"

The Social Media Whore

She's just here to get followers for her Instragram/Twitter account.

The Husband Quester

She thinks Tinder is just another OKCupid or PlentyofFish. She WILL find a husband!

The Deja Vu

In every picture, she's making the exact same face. The Exact. Same. Face.

The Mystery/Knows What's Up

Her profile is the most promising. It sometimes features only pictures. No bio or anything. She, most likely, knows what's up. This is a hookup site. You don't need to know each others' hopes and dreams here. Some fill out a profile because, hey, most women aren't just DTF (Down to Fuck) with anyone. The gears have to be greased with conversation and flirting first (yeah, guys, you're going to have to put forth some effort). So, she'll have a brief profile filled out, but it will otherwise she knows why she's here, she knows why you're there, and it's cool. 

Introductory Post


A little summary about me and why I'm doing this:

I was raised a Jehovah's Witness. I faded in 2007, but was never disfellowshipped, disassociated, or anything. In 2009, I got married. I am now separated and in the process of a divorce. I also used to have a blog of the same name that got deleted. I've decided to start it up again because life has kind of started to kick the shit out of me again a bit and I've been learning a hell of a lot more than I ever thought I would as an ex-Witness. I feel like this has granted me some wisdom already and will likely continue to do so.

My focus is going to be more about adjusting to a post-JW life and not so much about JW doctrines, practices, etc. There are a lot of situations, I'm finding out, that being raised as a JW kind of retards you on. This lack of experience and "street smarts" can get us into trouble, so maybe by talking about it I may be able to avoid some of the pitfalls or at the very least help others avoid the ones I already have.

So again, welcome. I promise I'll work on updating the theme at some point, but for now I'm just going to be content-focused. Bye for now!